Rock-n-Roll Fights for the Right to Have Its Feeding Tube Removed

So, I'm standing back maybe 20 people or so from the stage, and ahead of me is this couple. The boyfriend thinks he is a drummer, but instead of a drum kit, he's using his girlfriends ass. Later on in the show (at this point I'm up next to the stage) the guy next to me is playing along with the band by tapping his ring on his empty glass. He's not just tapping along though, he's adding beats where ever he sees fit. At one point the bass player looks over at the guy, gives him a grimace, and shakes his head no, but either the guy doesn't get it or he doesn't care. From that point on I can't tell if the bassist has a rockstar, contorted, I'm rockin out, look on his face or if he's just annoyed with the new addition to his band. Then just as the band is about to sing one of it's beautifully melodic, quiet, slow songs, the din at the bar rises tenfold. We're not just talking obnxious drunks, we're talking..trays being dropped, bartenders yelling, glasses clanking, and well... obnoxious drunks. And as if dealing with the glass/ring virtuoso wasn't enough, after the show the poor bassist is accosted by some other guy who asks him,"where's the band?", to which the bassist replies with a gesture toward himself, and a look of fear. So, the guy says to him, with a big, check out how funny I am grin,"sign my titty?"